


I Feel Bad

by multifandomlove02



Category: Supernatural RPF
Genre: Gen, Scars, Self-Harm, friend!reader - Freeform, they aren't with her
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-03
Updated: 2017-04-03
Packaged: 2018-10-14 06:55:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 788
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10531239
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/multifandomlove02/pseuds/multifandomlove02
Summary: I got this idea from Tumblr's @supernatural-jackles fic ‘Help Is Always Here’. When I asked her if I could borrow the idea she was kind enough to say yes. So, thank you!





	

**Author's Note:**

> Watch me write! https://livestream.com/accounts/23725846

Rob’s POV

I look to left side of the stage as a fan is given the microphone to speak. “Hi, I didn’t want to bring up anything deep but I feel like it’s a good idea. Before I do, is that okay?”

“Of course. We joke around alot but, we love the deep questions just as much as any others.” Rich answers, Matt and me nodding along.

The fan takes a deep breath, “I wanted to say thank you for helping Y/N. I know she is the youngest cast member that has been on the show for more than like 3 episodes. So, thank you guys for helping her get through her depression. We saw the cuts in a photo of her’s on Instagram and I know that there was backlash so, thank you for hopefully making sure she didn’t relapse.”

I look at Matt and Rich in shock. I didn’t even know that she was depressed. The looks on Matt and Rich tell me they didn’t either.

“Well I feel like a jerk know. I didn’t know that was going on. And it surprises me a lot. We have become a group up here you know? Constantly joking around, I haven’t had such best friends and it’s breaks my heart a little that I didn’t know this about one of my best friends.” Matt speaks first.

“Yeah, I mean it’s rare that we do a panel without her. Like today, she is in her hotel room sleeping because she had a rough night. We know exactly why she had a rough night and I know she won’t mind me saying the general thing that made it rough was her family. We know all those nitty gritty details but, wow. I’m rethinking now just how much I’ve been a good friend.” I speak next, my mind reeling around this information.

The fan who told us this, speaks again. “I’m so sorry. I thought you knew. I didn’t mean to-”

I cut her off, “It’s fine, really.”

“If you hadn’t there might of been a chance that we would’ve never know so, thank you.” Rich says. 

The rest of the panel leaves us distracted and even the fans can tell. We all still have a look of shock on our faces. We can’t give the same level of fun energy that we usually do.

As soon as the panel ends, all three of us rush to Y/N and mine’s shared hotel room.

I knock on the door before entering, using the system all of us created when we share a hotel room with Y/N. I can hear her on the phone.

“Mom, just because you want me settle down at the age of twenty-two doesn’t mean I am.” I hear her say into the phone. She smiles at us quickly before responding to something her mom says, “I don’t care if he’s the Prince of fucking England, I’m not marrying him.” She hangs up the phone, laying on the bed.

“How was the panel?” She asks, sitting up to look at the three of us.

We all share a look, “Alright.” I say.

“Learned something new.” Matt tells her.

Y/N raises an eyebrow, “Did you guys finally get the sex ed talk. I wanted to be there, to see the look of horror on your face.” She teases us. When we don’t laugh, the smile on her face is gone. “What’s going on? You guys are practically never this serious.”

“We know.” Rich says.

“You know, what?” Y/N asks. “There are a million different answers to that.”

I sit next to her, “We know about the cuts and depression.” I gently take her arm, rubbing at her wrist through the hoodie she has on.

Matt sits on the other side doing the same thing I am. “We all are sorry that we weren’t there for you. When you needed us or someone.”

“You guys,” she starts to say.

Rich sits on the other bed just looking at her. But doesn’t let her finish that sentence. “No, don’t do that thing where you make us not feel bad. We feel bad about this. You needed someone. You have always been there for us and we could have returned the favor. But, we were so shallow we didn’t notice.”

Y/N closes her eyes, “I have depression. I use to cut. I haven’t cut since I was almost twenty. It’s getting close to three years of being clean. You guys have nothing to apologize for. We were kinda of friends three years ago. It was only a little after becoming clean that we got really close.”

I speak for all of us, “We still feel bad.”


End file.
